Sunday, September 11, 2011
Six Sentence Sunday #9
This week I thought I would do something a bit different. Instead of my works in progress, I thought it would be a good idea to pay tribute to the hero's of 911. Here are my six.
They were from all walks of life when they went downtown.
Little did they know those two buildings were coming down.
It was the place to be if you were looking for a hero.
The place we all know as ground zero.
It's been ten years now and sirens still fill the day.
In honor of the men and women that died for the U.S.A.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Joke of the Day
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
Friday, September 9, 2011
Flash Fiction Friday #5
Welcome to Flash Fiction Friday! How this works. The group picks one picture and everyone writes 100 words exactly to make a story about the image. Joining me this week are some super talented writers whose links are below. Please join us and visit each writers link to read their interpretations of this image. Check us out on our blog Flasher Fiction Friday! Now here are my 100. Enjoy!
Muffy Wilson
Lani Rhea
Lisa Worroll
Katie Harper
Chris Quinton
Chris Power
Patricia Logan
Sara York
Finnless
Gemma Parks
Jp Archer
Rhea Archer
The front door slammed shut, then, “hi babe, I’m home.”
“Oh shit that’s my wife.” Derek’s hard-on shrank to nothing in a split second.
“I can’t believe this. I just can’t fucking believe it, you asshole.” Jessica whispered harshly. Not only had Jeff lied about being single, but now his wife was making her way through the house where she will certainly bust the two of them. She pushed him off of her, grabbed her dress and purse and headed for the window.
“Go, go, go, go, go,” She heard from behind. Holy crap, she wanted to hurt the bastard.
Benjamin RussellMuffy Wilson
Lani Rhea
Lisa Worroll
Katie Harper
Chris Quinton
Chris Power
Patricia Logan
Sara York
Finnless
Gemma Parks
Jp Archer
Rhea Archer
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Joke of the Day
A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar when he spots a fabulous babe walking in on the arm of some ugly guy. He asks the bartender about her and is surprised to discover that she's a prostitute. He watches her the rest of the night, amazed that someone so attractive could be available to him.
The next night he goes back to the bar, and sure enough she shows up again, only this time alone. The guy gets up his nerve and approaches her. "Is it true you're a prostitute?"
"Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I dunno. What do you charge?"
"I get $100 just for a handjob. We can negotiate from there."
"$100 For a handjob? Are you nuts?"
"You see that Ferrari out there?"
The guy looks out the front door, and sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari parked outside.
"I paid cash for that Ferrari with the money I made on handjobs. Trust me, it's worth it."
The guy mulls it over for a while, and decides what the hell. He leaves with her, and gets the most unbelievable experience he's ever had. This handjob was better than any complete sexual experience in his miserable life.
The next night he's back at the bar, waiting eagerly for her to show up. When she does, he immediately approaches her.
"Last night was incredible"
"Of course it was. Just wait ‘til you try one of my blowjobs."
"How much is that?"
"$500"
"$500? C'mon, that's ridiculous."
"You see that building across the street?"
The guy looks out front at a 12 story building.
"I paid cash for that building with the money I made on blowjobs. Trust me, it's worth it."
Based on the night before, the guy decides to go for it. He leaves with her, and once again is not disappointed. He nearly blacks out twice from the pleasure he receives.
The next night he can hardly contain himself until she shows up. "I'm hooked, you're the best Tell me, what'll it cost me for some pussy?"
She motions for him to follow her outside. She points down the street, where between the buildings he can see Manhattan. "You see that island?"
"Aw, c'mon, You can't mean that."
She nods her head. "You bet. If I had a pussy, I'd own Manhattan
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Joke of the Day
The Old Lady and the Vibrator
An old lady walked into a sex shop.
The young clerk couldn’t help but notice her. First, because she reminded him of his dear old grandmother and second, because she was twitching violently and trembling, even more than his grandmother did.
“Young m-m-m-man?” she stammered to the clerk, “Do you sell v-v-vibrators here?”
“Yes ma’am, we do,” he replied, a little embarrassed.
“B-b-b-big fl-fl-fluorescent orange ones?” asked the old lady.
“Yes ma’am, we have some like that.”
“The t-t-type about sixteen inches l-l-long?”
“Yes ma’am, we’ve got about any size you want.”
“The k-k-kind that takes eight D-D-D cell batteries?”
“Yes ma’am, we carry some like that.”
“Well, c-c-could you t-t-tell me how in the h-h-hell to turn it off?”
Monday, September 5, 2011
Joke of the Day
Dirty Joke about Little Billy
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Six Sentence Sunday #8
This is a snippet from a new wip. Jack's Christmas Wish. Lissa and Derek are making love and she is comparing him to her last lover.
Damn, Derek was good. Unlike her previous lover, who treated her body like a remote control, pushing random buttons trying to get it right.
She often sang her own version of a children’s song in her head. The nipple bone is connected to the clit bone. The clit bone is connected to the orgasm. The man had serious problems with patience.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Excerpt from Jack's Christmas Wish
This excerpt is Derek and Lissa in a love scene. I hope you enjoy it!
Lissa crawled on the bed on all fours. “Like this, Sir?”
“You know Lissa; you might be a natural submissive. Hearing you say Sir, makes my dick hard as a damn rock. Look and see what you do to me.”
She turned her head. He unzipped his pants, letting his erection bob free. He heard her sharp gasp as he stroked his shaft. She didn’t take her eyes off of his erection. She watched as he unbuttoned and dropped his jeans. Her eyes were still trained on him as he did the same with his t-shirt. He wanted no barriers between them.
“Have you ever done this before? Have you given a man the trust needed to fulfill your needs?” He picked up a paddle and walked toward her. You have earned five swats. She gasped again, but he could see she was aroused. She didn’t show any signs of fear. You will have a safe word, but I warn you if you use it, all of this will stop. Your word is red. Say your word.”
“Red,” she whispered.
“Say your word, louder this time.” He smacked her on her bottom with the paddle, getting a yelp from her.
“Red,” She yelled.
“That’s better. If you’re out of your comfort zone, you may use yellow and I will consider toning it down. Do you understand?”
She said nothing, earning another smack. She moaned.
“Don’t deliberately try to get a spanking, by not answering me, or this will stop. Do you understand?”
“Yes Sir.” She dropped her back, sticking her ass in the air.
He palmed her cheeks in his hands spreading them, rubbing them, then, smack!
She pressed back against his hands, moaning her delight. He loved watching her ass pink up, especially by his own hand.
“Smack! Smack!”
Her bottom was a nice shade of rose. He had placed each smack with precision, preventing whelps. This was to teach her to follow instructions.
“This may hurt a bit.” He grabbed a bottle of lotion from a bedside table and smoothed some on her bottom.
She hissed through her teeth as he rubbed it in.
“This should help with the stinging.” He couldn’t wait to sink into her wet heat all the way to the hilt. Everything about her was intoxicating. From the scent of her arousal to her pink kiss swollen lips. But, first he wanted her to kneel before him and take him into that delectably hot mouth of hers. There was nothing like seeing a woman on her knees pleasuring him.
“Get on your knees and suck me.” She blinked at him, but did what she was told. She crawled off the bed onto a fluffy carpet. He stood before her with his legs braced apart and his hands by his sides. She took his erection in hand giving it a tentative lick before taking his cock fully into her mouth. She raised her hand and fondled his balls with featherlike touches.
“Fuck, that’s good baby.” He speared his hands through her silky hair pulling her hair just enough to make it sting. Her head bobbed faster, she was breathing heavily through her nose. She closed her eyes and sucked harder. No. That wouldn’t do. He wanted to see her eyes as he came. “Open your eyes and look at me. Always keep your eyes on me.” He waited and she looked up at him with heavy lidded eyes. They were so dilated they were almost black.
“Yes Sir,” she said around a mouthful of cock.
“Good girl.” He was so close to coming he could hardly stand it. “When I come, I don’t want you to waste a drop.”
“Yes Sir.” She licked the crown of his cock and swallowed him whole.
He watched as her cheeks puffed and hollowed with every stroke, giving him immense pleasure. He would be sure to reward her for this. She increased suction on him giving him the tell tale tingle up his spine. His balls drew up and he came with ferocity. She did as instructed. He felt her greedy throat swallowing around the head of his cock, making him jerk and twitch. He let go of her hair, and helped her to her feet.
“Get back on the bed on all fours.” Damn, he wanted to taste her. Letting her sweet juices explode on his tongue.
He flipped over on his back, situating himself between her legs. “I want you to lower yourself to me. I need to taste you.”She lowered her pussy to his face, allowing him full access to her delicate folds.
Flash Fiction Friday #4
“Tonight my pet, you will pleasure me. Now lick my leg while Peter takes pictures. I want you to have something to remind you, who you belong to.”
“Yes, Mistress Ann.” David licked a path of wet heat from her ankle to her groin, so tempted to lick her pussy through those black panties. He knew if he did she would punish him with no sex. But the smell of her arousal was almost unbearable, he wanted to taste her.
“Mmm, that’s very good, pet.” I will reward you with a taste. Peter, drop the camera and remove my panties.”
Joining me this week are some very talented writers who have written their own interpretation of this picture, so simply click on their names to experience he fun of Flash Fiction Friday.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Joke of the Day
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!".
The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit".
The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my dick I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina."
The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, yes, whatever, just get on with it."
So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper".
So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement, she began to moan and groan aloud, "Oh doctor, doctor!" she shouted. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself.
He then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises.
The husband, at this point, suddenly became very annoyed and shouted. "Now wait a minute, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" he blasted.
The doctor, still concentrating, replied: "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the bastard!!"
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